Clearing my head

I still have about 3 weeks left here in Korea but had an interesting exchange with Tea about going back to our respective homes. We all are looking forward to going home but we realize that there are going to be a lot of things we're going to be missing about Korea.

So many things have happened over the course of this semester. It's almost surreal. I feel like I have almost no cares in this world really. I'm just living a really simple existence. All I have to do is get up every morning and go to my classes, do my homework, and make sure I pass my exams. Everything else is just icing. Traveling, meeting new people, participating in CCAP, and the list goes on... It's all just icing.

The rest of the world, especially back home, in contrast seems very stressful, and I'm just existing in my special little protective bubble where nothing is really all that serious...except when it has to deal with my life back home.

Back home a life of chaos seems to be eagerly waiting for me at the door. "Welcome back, Jenn! Hope you had fun in Korea, because it's now time to pay the Piper." Already, I have gotten a glimpse of the chaos that awaits me and like the rest of society, the financial demon awaits my return to cause me aggravations in the course of my life.

I had gotten many grants and financial aid for my study abroad adventure, which has made it what you have been reading for the past few months. Cost of living while high in some things, mostly leisure type commodities, has been for the most part very low. For example, where in the US can you get an entire meal for the price of $2? So basically, I've been living off of less than $10 a week since I've been here. With that amount changing whenever I've gone on some trips, and yet that has usually costs around $100 for the entire trip (transportation, lodging, food and souvenirs).

Back in the US, it's another story. My bank account is slowly being sucked dry and without my father's support, it would be completely dry, paying for the lifestyle that I am not even living for the past 3 months. Car, rent, motorcycle, credit cards, phone, HEALTH insurance (don't get me on that rant) and the list unfortunately goes on.

A quick look at my bank statement and my living expenses had made me determine that I need to give up on my last semester of Psychology at ETSU and go back to my life as an Engineer. A vocation that I really enjoy, mind you. So I made some arrangements to go back to work, knowing that my salary would easily pay for my financial burdens. With that in mind, I moved forward down the path of life.

Well, the financial monster has decided to throw another fork in the road. If I don't go back to school next semester, I would have to pay back ALL the money I got for studying abroad and the loan that I got already for next semester. We're not talking chump change either! The little ray of light coming from this path is that I will have some money from a lab position.

So here I sit looking at the fork in the road, both leading to various degrees of financial chaos, each with different enriching life rewards, and yet, leading to the same conclusion in May. I'll be back in the field of Engineering.

Seeing how financially, it looks like a lose-lose situation. I've had to revisit the situation by removing the financial monster and ask myself, "What is it that you really want?" The answer that came forth was immediate, "To finish what I've started."

And that ladies and gentlemen, is a glimpse into how my brain works. Wish me luck.