For those wondering... (clutter control)

...what little Jenn's been up to, well, let's just say she's been trying to find herself.

As someone who travels A LOT, I am usually not bothered by time changes. This time around, I really have been. Looking back on my various travels, I have to admit that for the most part that I am only gone for a maximum of like 2 weeks, if that. This time around has been 4 months and boy has it been rough.

After about 13 hours of just traveling (Korea to Japan to Detroit to Richmond), I did nothing but sleep once I got back to my parents place. I'm talking I went to bed at 8 pm and didn't wake up until 4 pm the next day. Then went to bed around 9 pm and slept until 11 am the next day. Pretty much have been keeping that sort of schedule the past couple of weeks.

Not only that, but I just felt all out of sorts. Just didn't feel like myself. I wasn't really sad about leaving Korea and it wasn't like I was excited about being back in the US either. I really just felt like a TV set that wasn't quite in tune, a bit static-y. I was suppose to go and hang out at my sister's place for New Years and I just couldn't handle it, I just felt too bombarded by stimuli and just felt so depressed. I couldn't rationalize why I was feeling this way, I just was.

I thought that perhaps the best place for me to be is back at my home but it wasn't. I had caught my roommate off guard by coming home so early and she was in the middle of a full blown cleaning. Stuff was everywhere and I did the only thing I could to save my sanity, retreat into my room and hide until I could get back in tune.

I was just so frustrated and angry with myself. My powerful, highly rational mind could not logically understand why I was just so miserable and just crying with no reason or purpose behind it. It wasn't until a couple of days later that I really felt like I just finally snapped out of it and felt like normal Jenn.

During the meantime, I've been relaxing and also going through my things throwing out things I no longer need anymore. The one thing that I realized in Korea was how to live simply. While in Korea, the only things that I needed were 1) money, 2) my camera, 3) my laptop, and 4) my cell phone (my peace of mind). Everything else were nice but not something I was too stressed over. Sure, I needed clothes but it wasn't like I would be too upset if I didn't have a specific pair of jeans or a certain sweatshirt. In other words, I wasn't really attached to them, they were just things that were helpful but I wasn't going to cry for days if I lost anything.

When I got back home, I looked around my room and realized that I had allowed my possessions to possess me. I had clothing that I never wore but I HAD to keep them because I would wear it eventually. Or clothing that I could throw out but never did because they were still in "good" condition. Stuffed animals that were hidden in the back of my closet that I had totally forgotten about for months. CDs that I never listen to but yet have them because they remind me of my childhood. And tons of almost empty notepads, pens, and the like, all sitting around my room just cluttering up the place. And now, I was bringing more things from my travels into my room.

More clutter?

So during the past couple of weeks, I have gone through my room and cleared a lot of things out of my room. If it wasn't useful or if it didn't have some sort of value, it was tossed out. I still have two boxes of things to figure out what to do with it in my room and will need to clear off my study desk in preparation for next semester. As I will be gone from 7 am until 7 pm Monday through Friday, there really isn't time for me to deal with all this clutter. I am going to need simplicity and efficiency if I am going to make it through next semester.

Today, roomie and I went through and cleared half of the basement. The basement has been a place we both had been dreading because of all the crap that has accumulated over the years and also had things left from the previous owners. And let's be honest, who really wants to clean up other people's garbage?

I have to say, with each cluster of things I throw out of my home, I feel like a heavy chain just snaps off of me. Hmm...interesting, I just had a vision of the ghost of Jacob Marley from A Christmas Carol pop into my head. I guess that's right, Marley did carry heavy chains of all the things that he was too stingy and too attached to let go of in his earthly existence.

Amazon.com: A Christmas Carol: Books: Charles Dickens ISBN: 1580495796 ISBN-13: 9781580495790

Don't get me wrong, I still have a lot of things, but these things actually mean something to me or are things that aren't quite ready to make their way out the door yet. However, my attitude toward my things are shifting. They are merely objects that beautify or enrich my life, but they are not me.